Step around the poop, if you can

I wrote for romance advice from an online "Advice-giver" Here is my question and here is his answer to me:


Am I too old at 46 to be picky? I have been looking for a relationship, husband, etc. since I was divorced at 24 years old. I have tried a lot of online sites, which have produced nothing but "relationships" from hell, requests of "friends with benefits" arrangements, assorted liars and other psychos, fugly's and just plain creeps ("I'd be willing to give up my cat, but not my dog for you") The last relationship I had from an online site lasted 3 years. I gave up on that one after I discovered a voice message from him on my cell phone to Laura in Colorado about what a hottie she is. My name is Merijoe and I live in California.

When I confronted him angrily about this-his response he said, "Im not your boyfriend and I have a life outside of you." This was after giving him 3 years of sex, paying for most everything, rescuing his cat from the hurricane that ravaged his New Orleans apartment, sending him cookies in the mail, vacations together, etc. But, I wasn't his girlfriend, evidently.

I especially love the dudes who post ads that boast "sexy, attractive 36 year-old" and then I see their picture-yikes.
Attractive to whom? Those who read braille?
I see troll and they see handsome. Bald, paunchy stomachs or real skinny, snaggly teeth (if they have any), no chin, short and this is a 36 year-old? My eyes, My eyes.

Okay, so Im thinking maybe I shouldn't be so picky at my age.
But, I didn't think my standards were that high, and I'm just not attracted to the stink bug look.
Should I just feel lucky if someone who has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel even glances my way? Im not a hot 30-something year-old but, I am taking better care of myself now then when I was 30. I don't think I look or act like Im 46, I'm NOT that hard on the fucking eyes,and I would be the best wife/girlfriend someone would ever be blessed with, so why is it so damn hard to find anyone? Since the online thing obviously isn't working, what does work for someone my age?

Jeff Bodean(the advice guy) says:
Don't worry about your age. The numbers are in your favor. I've read recently that in your age range, there are many more available single men than there are available single women. Good news for you. Bad news for them.

I was once a huge proponent of online dating. Not anymore. From a logical perspective, it makes absolute sense: find single people easily and learn all about them from the comfort of your computer chair. You can see pictures, get stats and learn many things that you normally wouldn't find out by simply meeting someone on the street. On paper it sounds great. In reality, it's bullshit.

People don't find ideal mates by pictures and profiles. True attraction is something that has to happen in person. Call it chemistry or call it body language, whatever it is; it doesn't digitize very well. You can find someone online that seems perfect, but when you meet them, they don't live up to your expectations. And that's just part of the problem: people who post their own profiles always use their best (and sometimes ancient) pictures, they pump up their profiles to make themselves seem interesting and they seldom reflect their true personalities through email. And online profiles really are just miniature billboards where people post white lies or they gloat and exaggerate themselves:

I am a facility maintenance technician. (No he's not. He's a janitor)
I like long walks on the beach. (Because she's been ditched there by more than one date and had to walk back to town)
I make a six-figure income each year. (Yes, he makes $9,000.38 per year)
I'm just as comfortable in a nice dress as I am in jeans. (Either she is telling the truth, or he is a cross-dresser)
I am very down-to-earth. (And sadly, doesn't bathe enough to remove this accumulated earth)
I am athletic. (Her arms are larger than your legs)

Forget online dating. If you want to meet men, simply go to where the men are: golf courses, auto parts stores, computer shows, fitness centers, rock concerts, electronics stores. Wherever. Our gender pollutes every corner of the planet. You should have no problem finding us. I think your real question is not related to where to look, but what to do when you see one you like.

Unlike women, men are quite approachable. Women have to worry about perverts and weirdos hitting on them, so they naturally have their shields up when a stranger approaches. Men aren't like this. We tend to put up our shields only when another male approaches. This allows women to be quite bold with little worry of a negative or embarrassing reaction. Try this for fun:

Next time you're out somewhere and you see a man you like and you've determined he's eligible (meaning he's not with his wife or girlfriend and he's not wearing a wedding ring), walk right up to him and say, "Hi...I'm Merijoe. You seem very interesting. Maybe we can get together some time." And then hand him a slip of paper with your phone number and walk away. It doesn't matter what you look like, he will be flattered. This just never happens to men. We wish it would, but it doesn't happen. And if his friends are in earshot of this little transaction, he'll be the hero of the day to them. He may not call you. And maybe the next one won't either; but sooner, more likely than later, one of them will call.

One of these days I'll write The Complete Guide To Scooping Up Awesome Men. But in the meantime, you'll just have to settle for my Pez-Dispenser approach to doling out knowledge about the male brain (or lack thereof).