Step around the poop, if you can

This is said by recovering alcoholics and the like, but I am borrowing that motto for myself as a mantra, Mostly because I get overwhelmed lately at the thought of my future as an old spinster lady who has cats as companions.
I began to think of the pros and cons of Merijoe and you know what...Im quite a catch. Hell, Id marry me. But,evidently, not quite the catch that a man would want-I was married when I was 17-I was divorced at his insistance, by the time I was 24-this union produced no children.
Im now 46 years old and single.
There were a few men after this marriage,I could count them on one and half hands,All of them just blew into my life long enough to get what ever it was they needed and wanted at the time, then they left. No promises were ever made to me-I was not ever lied to, I was always told by the person that a commitment wasnt possible,I was never anyones girlfriend, but I hung on anyway, just glad for the quasi-love, it felt good at the time.
Im not a clingy,desparate,dependant bitch and it never seizes to amaze me how little this means to a man. I thought it was supposed to be-but it doesnt.
I cant believe some of the bitchy ass women who have either husbands or boyfriends, fat ones, mean ones, personality of a dialtone ones, dumb ones, butter faced ones (everything is good but-er face), selfish ones,cant even pump gas in their car,cant cook,dont have any type of outside interest,lazy ones,greedy ones. WHY THEM AND NOT ME?

Im not perfect, but Im certainly worth the effort to have.
Im not interested in a relationship at this point, but I still wonder-what it is Im doing or not doing to disturb a man to the point of him not wanting me for anything more than a few times.

I did happen to see my ex-husband a few years ago(by the way,hes remarried with a kid and a big house in Texas) Curious, I asked him what I had done wrong-his answer? Nothing,I did nothing, he just felt if he continued to stay married to me I would hold him back. "from what?" "I dont know" he said, "I was just young and stupid"-hes certainly not famous and hes not a millionaire today. Anyway, I felt better knowing that I had done nothing wrong-as I had always assumed, but that doesnt help me today does it?

Today, I took a drive to Los Angeles and met a girlfriend for lunch and shopping. I love LA. I miss it. I went to Pier One and got me a wicker trunk for 125.00
I ordered a bookcase from Staples-a big ass one, it came last week- in a box. Instructions:
"Assemble this your own fucking self" I bought a drill and I put it together last night, I am so puffed up and proud of myself. Hope it doesnt explode when I put a book on it.

"I don’t know whether you’re young or not. I sort of hope you’re young and sad. If you’re old and happy, I can imagine that you’ll maybe smile to yourself when you hear me going, He broke my heart. You’ll remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the Embankment on your own, wrapped up in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave. But can you remember how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach? Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl? Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning when you woke up you had to go through it all over again? Can you remember carving his initials in your arm with a kitchen knife? Can you remember standing too close to the edge of an Underground platform? No? Well, fucking shut up, then. Stick your smile up your saggy old arse." –Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down

Jaded One, you gave me strength.Thanks. Time will eventually heal-Dont know how, Maybe after I cut out the piece of my heart that manfriend occupies,I'll need to use a Ginsu.

Moving on through torn up heart...

I have found a gym that I joined about 6 wks ago-sort of like, the style of a Curves-30 minutes on each machine- Im up to 40-45 minutes. Im up to 10-15 minutes on the Euclipitacal or whatever its called, kind of like a combination treadmill,cross sking,rower machine-cardio.

I go 3 times a week-missed last night-1st time I ever missed a session but depression kept me home. They say exercise is good for depression, something about that it releases endorphins or dolphins, anyway the "happiness" chemicals in your brain..I plan on going tomorrow just for the high! plus I can eat a potato chip and not feel like I gained 80 pounds.



I had to move physically at my job-so now Im no longer sitting next to the guy who spits loogies all day, now Im next to the coworker who came to work with her pants on inside out one day, she blows air out of her mouth ALL day long-sounds like a tea kettle is about to boil over. So, now, I ask unsuspecting people who come into my cubicle and jump as they hear the weird whistle-if they have any crumpets.

Here's a joke someone sent me-that I thought was rather funny, but judge for yourself if you've got time to read:

One morning, Tyrone asked his work buddy Fred, "Man, why you always so
>damn happy when you come to work every day?"
>Fred replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning
>before work."
>Amazed, Tyrone asked him, "How do you get your wife to make love to you

>every morning?"
>"That's easy," Fred said. "I just tell her this little poem that I made

>up. She loves it! It goes like this: Blond hair, blond hair, eyes so
>blue. I love waking up and making love to you!"
>Tyrone was amazed, "Man, you white guys are so damn sentimental and
>shit." He decided to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day
>thinking up a poem for his wife.
>The next day, Tyrone showed up to work just all beat to hell - bruised
>eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works.
>Fred asked, "Man, what happened to you?"
>Tyrone said, "I do! n't know, man. I went home and tried your idea
that's

>all. I just told her a poem."
>Fred asked, "Well, what poem did you tell her?"
>Tyrone said, "Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog. If I could roll

>yo fat @ss over, I'd hump you like a dog."

Im trying to get back the wind that was knocked out of me recently. Please understand, I'll be back when I get some emotional strength
thanks

Went to go get my cell phone because I was going to call my brother and talk about the old rockers-Rolling Stones who were playing at the Super Bowl
I noticed that there was a missed call and a voice message on it from none other that my Man friend.
So, I played the message and it was for Laura, the rocky mountain hottie (as he called her on the voice message)-he was telling her that he would "call her later"
weasel.
I tried to call him back but, no answer, guess hes partying it up at the super bowl party, just wait till he calls me back. If he does
bastard

Update-well, he called me back and I told him about the call I received that was meant for Laura the Rocky Mountain Hottie.
Then I hung up on his face.

He called me back to leave me the message
"Im sorry you got that call, but Im not your boyfriend and I have a life outside of you"

Hes sorry I got that call that was meant for another girl?
So I called him back and told him to get the fuck out of my life and hung up

He called me back and said , "If Im going to talk to him like that then I should get out of his life too".

Im not going to call him back again. Im just through-nothing more to say.

A couple of months ago he said the boyfriend word to me.Really. He recently took my name and email address off his mass email list with other girls on there.
I have been very good to him-he even said that to me, we have dated etc for almost 3 years, I never raised my voice to him and always encouraged him. I invited him over many times for dinners-of which he gladly came to, and never pushed requesting him to take me out...as I know his situation isnt stable yet. I helped to rescue his cat from a bad situation,Im there for him without smothering him
What did I do wrong?
I dont think I said anything to him that requires me to appologize for

The picture shows that this soldier has been thru Survival School and learned his lessons well. He's giving the sign of "coercion" with his left hand. These hand signs are taught in survival school to be used by POW's as a method of posing messages back to our intelligence services who may view the photo or video. This guy was obviously being coerced into shaking hands with Hillary Clinton. It's ironic how little she knew that he would so inform us about the photo---perhaps because she's never understood our military to begin with.

If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.
The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in
the nation, than you are in Iraq.........................Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington