Step around the poop, if you can

Me-circa 1964




Could be me, circa 2020:



Note to self: Watch that sun worshipping habit

A dead grandpa is watching over me-watch for the flickering light in my house cause thats him giving me a sign..everything looks good financially.
A dead grandma says to be patient regarding love life.

I went to the Pet Expo today held at the Orange County Fairgrounds.
Saw breeds of dogs and cats that I only heard about in magazines-that was interesting (I cant remember what they called the breed but the face looked like a Scottish terrier, but the body stood about 3 feet tall instead of the usual low to the ground body-scared the hell out of me) I got a bagful of samples for my cats and some for friends' animals too
I bought a new pooper scooper and some stuff to clean up the hairball vomit that my cats leave all over the house. (by the way,how nice and cool this feels to step in while on the way to the bathroom at 3am)
Someone made small versions of bedroom furniture from logs - complete with headboards on the bed and thick comforters for your pampered poo-der, I didnt think to look at the price but Im sure it was in the 500 dollar or more range.
I went into the cat house but I only saw those primped up purebred showcats.I dont know how they could stand all the damn noise in there. My cats would have been hanging upside down on the ceiling by their nails
There were Llamas and donkeys and horses oh my. Smelled delightful there at the fairgrounds.
I sat in on a radio show that was being broadcast at the Expo by none other than famed animal behavioralist, Warren Eckstein
He took calls from people wanting to get advice about their animals' annoying behaviors-like the one woman who called to ask how to get her cat to not pee in the sink and the bathtub or the woman who asked what she should do about her dog's "recycling" issue (otherwise known as "poop eating")and from the guy who wanted to know if Warren believed in reincarnation of animals because he found a little 3 legged kitten in his yard right after his dear cat died.
Warren was very funny and very kind-what a good hearted man. He gave away alot of free stuff to people and announced he,himself would pay for a wheelchair for a little puppy at the Expo whose hind legs were paralyzed due to the fact that his spine never fused at birth, he held that adorable little pup on his lap and stated that whoever adopts him must be extremely special and will be checked out.
Well, I had a good day cause I spent it in the company of those I love-the animals-I must have been a hound in a previous life

Major of Los Angeles said in a speech recently "we clean your toilets!" I guess he was trying to make a statement that the mexicans are the only ones who will do the kind of work Americans wont do (like clean toilets) so, John and Ken of KFI radio have been requesting listeners to purchase and send Major Villarigosa a toilet brush-Thousands of toilet brushes have been sent to his office since last week. LMAO
And....

Jobs Americans won’t do, eh?
Not at the The John & Ken Show Car Wash!

We’ve got AMERICAN CITIZENS to wash your car! Feel free to ask any one of them for identification. They won’t be offended. They’ve got nothing to hide.

It’s free. But if you’d like, we’ll be accepting donations for charity.

This Thursday, April 20th, from 3-7 pm(see Update)

UPDATE-
***The illegal alien activists are scared of you, and what you can do! They have threatened to riot, damage property, and even physical violence. So the Riverside Plaza has backed out. Stand by for a new location.

My brother sometimes dog sits for a friend's pooch who has some, uh, "different" characteristics




Dogs are smart




Dogs are good traveling companions

Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, “It is a cultural U.S.A.thing. You would not understand, pal.”

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.

Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico

Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck! You’ll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world except right here in the United States, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians.

A celebration of the Jewish holiday of Pesach (Passover)
Passover is the 8 day observance commemorating the freedom and exodus of the Israelites (Jewish slaves) from Egypt during the reign of the Pharaoh Ramses II.
A time of family gatherings and lavish meals called Seders, the story of Passover is retold through the reading of the Haggadah. With its special foods, songs, and customs, the Seder is the focal point of the Passover celebration. Passover begins on the 15th day of the Jewish month of Nissan. As the Jewish day begins at sundown the night before, for the year 2006, the first night of Passover will be April 12th.






Top 15 New and Improved Passover Items
written by Avi Korn & Isaac Galena

15. Matzah Sushi
14. Pamela Anderson's XXX HOT Marror
13. George Forman's Shank Bone Grill
12. 7-11's New Charoset Slurpee
11. Great Adventure Funnel Cake (ok its not Kosher for Passover, or Kosher at all, but its better than that 45 dollar Hotdog lunch!)
10. Ferrara Pan: Afikomen the Grape, StaleMatza Jawbreakers, Boston Baked Beans (sephardic), Marror Redhots,
9. Kosher for Passover Zima, called "Ben Zoma"
8. Gummy Locusts
7: Kosher for Pesach Shmura Water
6: Matzah with regulators
5: Shomer Mitzvos Software: Block Chometz-related internet sites (Ba'al Yiraeh)
4: Kosher for Passover cavity fillings - Jewish Dentist Recommended
3: Britney Spears version of Mah Nishtana (she's not that innocent)
2: Always-Lean crooked chairs
1. Hindi, the drunk and constipated pesach doll.

I love my online diary.A place to vent,to rant,to journal.Rather than keeping feelings inside, tis a good thing-this here blogging stuff

There has been a lot of illegal alien activity over here in Cali lately, marches, etc with the Mexicans saying they want their rights and Amnesty to America.
I know other states in America have the same problem but we are getting bitch slapped in California with illegals coming over the border to the tune of 7 mil
Under Amnesty we would have to allow all these border hoppers to get cozy here in America forever-school em,take care of em when they're sick,hurt, Provide for them when they are too poor to take care of themselves financially and their 85 relatives etc etc etc.
We here in California are at capacity-we are not able to properly take care of what is LEGALLY here let alone people that are not citizens of this country, Yes, while some of them are merely trying to earn a living-you bleeding hearts, some of them are indeed gangster,murders,theives,rapists,child molesters,fugitives,criminals in general....Granting Amnesty to them is incompetent and irresponsible. Amnesty is but a political power play and I feel like Im no more than a game piece. I didnt vote for any of these ninnys so how did they get into office? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Why do we have separate ride share lanes when the freeways are so congested with the illegal aliens that everyone insists we must have? OPEN UP THE LANES TO EVERYONE especially during rush hours. HELLLLLLLOOOOO
Guess thats too complicated.



Dedicated to My Brother:

Dads 70th last night
Mom gathered neighbors,her best friend,my cuz,my bro and me with manfriend-at the Claim Jumpers for dinner at 8 oclock last night.

Good thing manfriend was there, he kept conversations with these strangers going at top speed-as moms best friend whispered to me across the table-"Oh thats nice that he likes to talk, Im stuck with Silent Night" (referring to her husband who had left the table to go potty-same guy who I had the honor to sit next to and whose pits stank, by the way)
She said she was upset because she was just diagnosed with insulin dependant diabetes, I guess she wasnt that upset, because after just consuming mass quantities of dinner, when the waiter came around again, she ordered cheesecake (a little pie to go with that deadly disease that is controlled by diet- mmmmm,sugar,pie)

She told me and manfriend that when she was younger(shes probably in the mid 60's) she and some girlfriends used to drive to San Diego,ca from Torrance,ca (not more than 80 or so miles) to "visit" military guys..thats no big deal right? except, she boasted, there were no freeways then.
Hellllllooooo. I wonder how long that road trip took

Mom who was always a tall woman had shrunk a couple inches due to the ravages of Osteoporosis-she is starting to resemble a human comma-yikes

All in all the dinner was good and there werent too many embarrassing moments, except when my dad, who thought I looked real good, asked me what I had done to my face.
"nothing dad, must be that facial that man-friend gave me tonight"

I am reminded of a contretemp that a coworker told me of- this is what too much drink,low lights and not thinking straight can lead to..
She and a couple of girlfriends stopped into a local bar,where they are regulars, one evening. Since it was a bar they were familiar with, they drank-alcoholic beverages-lots. My coworker reported to me that one of her girlfriends noticed a tall cowboy looking guy-Stetson,boots and all(remember, this is california-so this look is macho out here),giving her the "Im interested" look..oh she was flattered and told the waitress-who knew all of these girls that little secret, that she was interested in that one! "Well" said my coworker, "it should have given her a hint when the waitress said with a surprise in her voice" "him?"
But she didnt heed to that hint and couldnt back out when he walked over to her, smiled and had no teeth... so she left with him.
The next morning, as he lay sprawled out,on his back, snoring loudly and without his hat on, she notice that not only was his back side completely covered with hair like he was a Sasquatch but he was bald too.

by Randy Cassingham
The Third Time’s the Charm

Samuel Saraiva of Silver Spring, Md., went to a dentist to have a tooth pulled. She pulled the wrong tooth, he said. Back on a second visit, another wrong tooth was pulled. When on the third visit Saraiva was told one of his teeth was too big, and the dentist pulled it, filed it down, and stuck it back in with Krazy Glue, Saraiva went to the Board of Dental Examiners to complain. The board told the man that his dentist, Maria Soto, was not a licensed dentist. Soto is being held on charges of practicing dentistry without a license. (UPI) ...Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you. Fool you three times, we really have to conclude you’re some sort of idiot.