Step around the poop, if you can

Monday, August 28, 2006


Kyle Stone was relaxing in his community spa when a small coyote bit him in the head.
By SONYA SMITH
The Orange County Register
IRVINE — A man was bit in the head by a coyote while relaxing in his community spa the night of Aug. 26.
Kyle Stone was reclining in the spa around 10:30 p.m, when he felt a sharp pain in his head. When he turned around he saw a coyote a few feet away.
The animal immediately ran away. Stone sustained a small scalp injury.
Irvine Police Lieutenant Rick Handfield said the attack is extremely rare, and experts cannot explain the animal's behavior. Initial thoughts, he said, are that the young animal may have mistaken Stone's head as food.
Irvine Animal Services officers are working with state officials from the Department of Fish and Game on finding the coyote.
Flyers have been distributed in the Quail Hill village area of Irvine asking for people to call police when they see coyotes.

I just read an article today that spoke of how
Israeli born Gene Simmons from the 70's rock group, KISS,
sent a very touching video greeting today to the hospital bed
of a seriously injured Israeli soldier
who happens to be a huge KISS fan.
Evidently the brother of this injured soldier
relocated his wedding to the hospital so brother could be there.
In the video, Simmons calls the soldier a Hero:

"Hi Ron, this is Gene Simmons. I'm talking to you from my home. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, and how much the world and Israel owes you a debt of gratitude," he said. "From the bottom of my heart, you are a real hero, you are everybody's hero, you are my hero and I wish I could be there with you."
Simmons added in Hebrew: "My name is Chaim, I was born in Haifa."

He concluded by saying in English: "I wish you my best, a happy life and I hope the wedding comes off and everybody should honor you because you are a real hero."

Real sweet and humble
I was quite touched by this jester of affection toward
another human by a famous person-I thought...gee,what a great guy,that Gene
the Israeli rocker, that is
until I read this here interview that Chaim,
the Israeli born, arrogant geezer
gave with Blabbermouth.com a few days ago:

Gene: Guys have become such wimps, it just shocks me. My God, what happened to the alpha male? I believe in total honesty. I believe in full disclosure before the fact, before you get with a girl. If you wanna marry her, say, "OK, I wanna marry, but let's talk about if we get divorced," because statistics say you will. So you must ask her the most important question, which is: If you want money, let me know how much. Let me make an educated decision.

Blender.com: You've said, "Women are great housekeepers: They get to keep the house."

Gene: Well, every hotel you've all been to is by definition a cohabitation agreement. You sign on the dotted line, and you agree to abide by the rules of the owner of the hotel. When you leave the hotel, you don't take half the hotel with you.

Blender.com: Have any of your exes ever come back to haunt you?

Gene: The reason you never find out some dark secret about me in those rags that women are addicted to — you know, The Sun and The Star and all the other stuff — is that there really is nothing to tell. The very first thing I did was show Shannon the photos I've taken, thousands of them, before we moved in together. In law that's called full disclosure, before the fact.

Blender.com: Was that a tough night?

Gene: No. It's better to find out there's trouble in paradise before you move into it than after. I like to think that I have the dignity and ethics of a prostitute: Before the blow job, I'm going to tell you it's gonna cost 75 dollars, this is what it is and so on. But women don't seem to have that integrity. If you ask really serious questions, they won't answer it.

Blender.com: Which band would you say you are most proud of offering that honor of opening for you?

Gene: AC/DC. That's my favorite band.

Blender.com: What was it about AC/DC?

Gene: I saw the boys play at a small club first in London with Bon Scott, and I'll never forget. They were starving, there were just 100 people in the club, and the lights went out, and even during the blackout, Angus was still going, doing his little dance step, back and forth. I thought, "Boy, these guys really care," so I cornered Angus, in Los Angeles after a show, and I said, "Do you wanna go grab a bite?" and he says, "Yeah let's go, mate." And when he smiled, I noticed he didn't have any front teeth. Literally. And I took him to a place called Ben Frank's, and he literally had beans and franks, and he had to chew on the side of his mouth. I thought to myself, "This poor little guy's got the heart of a lion," and I said at the table, "You're going out on tour with us." And his eyes were just like, "What?" You know, they thought they were forever gonna be in these little hellholes.

I entered a post in July about the gym, but since amazingly,Im still going there regularly, I have more material to write about-I'll save the funny shit about Craigslist.com-the casual encounters, for a later time. But for now, I'll concentrate on the gym (one adventure at a time)

That should be the name of a TV movie-"the gym part II"

Im not used to going to a "gym" I never was into that and I hate
sweating-I hate moving. But I joined one on July 5th of this year
I figured I might have a chance finding a husband if my body looks hot

My body is hot alright, I bought a t-shirt that says "hot and sweaty" on it.
Still single.

Im doing some exercises on a machine called the Back Extension,
it bends you backwards but first you set the weights to the # of pounds
you can handle.
I always have to reset the weights because some six pack jock
who uses this machine before me,has them set to something like 600#

So, I reset them to my usual, -25, and started using the machine,
I was like a crazy bending backwards fool-My pevis pointing straight
to the sky. Dont fool yourself,
when you're on the back extension machine stretching your back,
this is not a real attractive position
for a woman who is trying to get attention from a guy no matter how
much you wet your lips.

Anyway this back machine happens to be positioned facing one of the
raquetball courts which has a clear wall and door.
There are usually several married guys in there playing
(I guess trying to de-stress from corporate or wife hell)
not something particularly strange...
but the unusual thing about this is that as soon as they see me,
I guess they think Im looking at them and writing their moves down
for my next stand up routine because as soon as they see me, everytime
they hit the ball or miss the ball or intercept the ball from
someone else, they look at me.
Hey, Im just trying not to fall off this back extension machine
while attracting men,
I dont care if raquetballs start flying out of your butt

Choose the proper statement according to your month of birth, day of birth and color of your shirt and join the statements to make one sentence and pass it on.

January-----------i married
Febuary-----------i found
March--------------i fucked
April--------------- i ate
May----------------i stole from
June---------------i killed
July----------------i kissed
August------------i lied to
September-------i choked
October---------- i bitch slapped
November------- i watched
December--------i spanked


- DAY [NUMBER] YOU WERE B0RN 0N =]

1-------Danny Phantom
2-------my friends pants
3------- myself
4------- an ipod
5-------a hobo
6------- p diddy
7-------you
8------- my dog
9-------a lawn gnome
10-------a banana
11-------a monkey
12-------my neighbor
13-------a football player
14-------a spoon
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------bigfoot
18------- my TRUE love
19-------you
20-------a mexican
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------your mom
24-------a gangster
25-------1000 people
26-------a noodle
27------- my best friends boyfriend/girlfriend
28-------A SANDWICH
29-------my science teacher
30-------a squirrel
31-------my uncle


- C0L0R OF Y0UR SHiRT ;]

White------- Because i keep it gangsta
Black--------Because im sexy and i do what i want.
Pink---------Because im in love
Red----------Because the voices told me to.
Blue----------Because thats how i roll
Green--------Because I hate myself.
Purple--------Because i can
Gray---------- Because dat bitch took my taco
Yellow--------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
no shirt-------Because i was high
maroon-----Because i was drunk.
teal-----cuz they were illegal
Brown-----Because im emo
Caramel----cuz Charlie told me too.
Striped------cuz ur mom said so
black..pink----Because i am kool like that
bra-----cuz im to kool for tv
bathing suit----- cuz im so sexy and i freak like no other

Repost this as "I..." or else you will
have bad luck for the next 17 years

Ive been doing the "meet your soul mate or interest" on the much advertised as the best way to do it-via internet dating. Im embarrassed to say this, but, a girl will try anything for a date, Ive been on different "match" sites, Plenty of fish,Eharmony,Millionairematch,perfect match,american singles,cupid junction, even Craigs List(weird,indeed) for well over 4 years now. Im still single.
And the only "love" Ive had thru this avenue, was me getting involved with someone from the cupid junction one that lasted 3 years. He was cute and had a nice body and unbenounced to me lied a bit on his profile-not much,and Im sure he'd say he wasnt lying, just enough to feed his enormous ego that matched his beautiful face.
Anyway, I was attracted based on his looks and, the potential-to me he was a good match for me.(turned out to be fantasy)In fact he was so damn good looking I honestly thought, what the hell does he want me around for?

I didnt get much from this "relationship"?-As with most fantasies,I did all the friend-ing, while he just sat back and took whatever I was stupid enough to give for free, including getting his cat rescued from death after the Katrina Hurricane hit when all he did was hand wringing and no one else cared and I payed for just about everything because he was always broke(at 43)Im not saying he treated me badly but he didnt treat me good either, I was treated..Indifferent, like a toy, taken out of the toy box to play with every so often,when the mood struck him, then I was put back and forgotten..I allowed this to go on for 3 years
After 3 years of, "me give and you never give", and then recently getting a phone message on my cell phone voice mail that was from him but intended for another girl-for which I yelled at him for this brain spaz was just too much for me, I finally got up enough nut sack to completely become medieval on his buttocks

I guess saying anything to him about this was the wrong thing for me to do cause not more than 2 months went by when he spoke to me about becoming "platonic" only. Long story short, I said "no way, get on with your life", this was in april and I havent heard from him since. Now he is saying, I threw a temper tantrum.(I have never raised my voice to him, let alone have drama queen episodes-so this hurt bad)

But,I courageously figured,finally,no matter how good looking he was, that I didnt deserve this and this was not healthy for me-not easy especially after a 3 year history and the fact that I hate scenes-though Ive been tempted I have not tried to contact him-unfortunately we live in the same city now. shit

Another situation was meeting someone from millionaire match-turn out to be a colossal liar-living in Dallas. His profile showed a picture of him 20 years ago and billed him to be in his 40's,a doctor,tall and athletic along with a fake name
We emailed and spoke on the phone to each other for a few months-and he talked of marriage to me.
I actually took my own hard earned money(he never offered to help or reimburse the plane fare) and flew out to meet this Dr dude that I have been communicating with for months that spoke of marriage to me.
When he picked me up from the airport, there the troll stood, all 5 feet 6 inches of him,about 40 pounds overweight, his polyester shirt half open to reveal his fatness,an IT with some sort of higher education degree guy as it turned out-oh yeah, he was 53 years old. I spent the weekend at his apartment-ewww what a creepy guy this was. I felt obligated to sleep in his bed and pretend I was thrilled to see him-his dick reminded me of hmmm, a tic tac comes to mind, and he couldnt get it up for all the tea in china.

Guess Im a glutton for punishment-Ive been back to one of these sites, but a wiser one, I grill these, uh, gentlemen like halibut. I love the ones who want you to be everything I have on my profile, loving,no drama,good person then when you attempt to email them they either delete your message,email you back a few times, say they want to communicate with you, then you never hear from them again or say they want to go out with you and you never hear from them again, or like the one I met in person from Craigs List early this month (yeah,good site to meet quality men)
He was a cute guy (once again) but I didnt think he would be this weird-he met me on a monday morning at a nearby my job, Starbucks for coffee, he works nights-from about 12pm till 8:45 pm - Thursday he text messages me at 8:40pm to ask me if I wanted "some company" I texted him back and said "no thanks" and I havent heard from him since
Geeze guys WTF do you want? a good person or a good piece of ass that looks like Eva Longoria-make up your minds and be honest
Hey, Im lonely-not desperate...lonely see the difference

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
A couple is supposed to bring out the best in each other, not the worst.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
It's just not nice to keep your girlfriend and baby locked up in the house.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora
Dating a friend's ex is bad enough, but dating her ex-husband is even worse. Denise and Richie should be looking over there shoulders because Karma tends to sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Jude Law and Sienna Miller
Repeat to yourself..."Once a cheater, always a cheater." Sienna should be smarter than taking Jude back, not only did he cheat, but he cheated in their house with their nanny! That's just in really poor taste.

Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos
If you're looking for a long-term boyfriend don't jump from one to another to another and back to the original like Paris does

I was at a store the other day that caters to those who have everything or just dont need to buy anything practical.

My attention was attracted by something called a "Zen Garden" which is a small box of sand with stones in it and a small rake is attached so you can rake the rocks - I guess its supposed to put your mind at peace. You are suppose to meditate as you rake.

As I was trying out the Zen Garden in the store it suddenly occurred to me that this is exactly what I do when I clean the turds out of the cat box, only I use a big pooper scooper instead of a small rake. OMMM-OMMM
My cats watch me, as they meditate that I would hurry the hell up so they can take a shit.

I was told this is MY blog, I can write any damn thing I wanted to and dont worry about how anyone else feels about it. Too bad, so sad-if they dont like it.

Well, deep down I really dont like hurting other people and I believe with all my heart and it is a philosophy in my life that "what goes around,comes around"

I would love to blog about the ex by name and write about how he left me broken hearted and didnt care or that when we were together, he kissed like a camel on crack

I would love to blog about how I was driving home today after my workout and saw the "could care less about me-even after 3 years" prick by my apartment complex run/walking with a baby stroller-obviously, the baby belonged to a new "fuck buddy" of his-but why did he pick my neighborhood to find a single mom hoochie to leave his man juice in? Or maybe it was his, after all he never used a condom

My apartment complex is suppose to have some big party to mark the end of summer next week, they invited all the apartment dwellers to a pot luck by the pool and promised a band would be there.
I was really looking forward to this, until I saw the narcissist today by my apartment bldg with a baby. Im thinking maybe the new fuck buddy invited him to that and he, since he could care less about my feelings or me, plans to go.

I almost died today, what would happen if I saw him there-expecially if new girl is hot. I would sob uncontrollably

So, I dont think I should enter stuff about him-that would be disrespectful

This from CNN:
"British police say they have arrested 21 people in connection with a terrorist plot to blow up aircraft flying from the United Kingdom to the United States.
The plot was "intended to be mass murder on an unimaginable scale," Metropolitan Police Deputy Commissioner Paul Stephenson said
The plot involved hiding liquid explosives in carry-on luggage, and six to 10 flights would have been targeted, U.S. officials said.

A senior U.S. congressional source said it is believed the plotters were to carry a "British version of Gatorade" onto the planes and then mix it with a gel-like substance. The explosives were to be triggered by an iPod or a cell phone, the source said. Some flights would have been heading from the UK to New York, Washington D.C. and California"


My soon to be gone from the company Boss flew to our office today for a meeting
He was saying that as he stood in line to pass thru security at the airport this morning, 2 women in front of him were instructed by TSA to either dump all their liquid or check it, which included their precious faces(makeup,lipstick etc), shampoo and hair gel needless to say they were i-fucking-rate as, nobody was given any notice to this change. The women explained that they couldnt wait in line to check their items or they would miss their flight. They were met with the following attitude from TSA,too bad so sad-build a bridge and get over it.
But, good news is..the terrorist plot-which was confirmed to have taken place in the next few days, was foiled. Thanks Scotland yard and all those who were involved
DONT FUCK WITH USA

You know, its the little things in life that happen unexpectedly that put a smile on your face and in your heart- its not all the time I guess so when it does happen, you appreciate and remember what happened

This morning, as I was leaving Starbucks (I just got coffee,not one of those fluffy blended drinks)
I opened the door to leave and as I walked to the parking lot, my eyes immediately were drawn to the huge white pickup truck whose back window was wide open, in it-a large golden retreiver with a sweet,innocent face that hung longingly out the open window.... with a tennis ball in its mouth
Wish I would have remembered to take a picture. But that image stayed with me all day and made me smile. Now thats beautiful.

www.tshirthell.com/store/clicks.php?partner=merijoe

If you like-uh the more, unconventional type of T-Shirts and stuff, you must check this site out


Im not trying to spam you, but I have to pass on a good tip- yes, I have signed up as an affilate but only only because I believe in their cause.
Im really not trying to sell. I promise you




giftwrap says: "Happy Fucking Whatever"

Oh if you like the thing so much that you, yourself want to be an affliate for the company and pin a banner to your site, (and Im not pushing you,honest), but If you want to please use this link, In any case, enjoy yourself

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/clicks.php?partner=merijoe

Starbucks Corp. Wednesday posted 16 percent quarterly profit growth but showed its weakest monthly same-store sales rise in four-and-a-half years, missing Wall Street estimates and sending shares down 9 percent.

The news fed investor fears that higher gasoline prices and interest rates may be hitting Starbucks customers' wallets, but the world's largest coffee chain said heavy demand for cold drinks, such as the new Banana Coconut Frappuccino, had slowed down service during busy morning hours.

"We are experiencing stronger-than-expected -- actually unprecedented -- customer demand for blended beverages during morning peak hours," Chief Executive Jim Donald said on a conference call with analysts. "We still have work to do with service efficiencies around our Frappuccino blended beverage preparation."


Sales at coffee shops open at least 13 months rose 4 percent in July, the smallest increase for a month since December 2001.

unseasonably warm weather in much of the United States contributed to the surge in demand for cold drinks, but a pullback in consumer spending could also be to blame.

"I understand the rationale and the reasons they gave and I think there is probably something to that," said Geiman, who rates Starbucks shares a "buy" but owns none. "Whether or not it's partially related to the economy or just the maturing of the brand is another matter, and that could be a slight factor."


Donald said the company was working to speed up service by boosting the number of staff during peak hours and putting more espresso machines in its stores.

RUSSIA, INDIA, BRAZIL

Starbucks said it expected to open shops in Russia and India in 2007. It already has 400 stores in China, and the company will open its first store in Brazil later this year.

In 2007, Starbucks expects to open 2,400 stores, including 700 internationally.