Step around the poop, if you can

1st of all, its as hot as pepper here in southern california. I hate the heat.
Around 5 this evening, the electricity went out briefly, I think someone farted-thats all it takes in the suburb where I live for the electricity to blow. So, the air and the fan shut off. But like I said, it was briefly-like 2 seconds-I didnt even have time to say fuck. You know in this day and age, we cant wait 2 seconds for anything. People cant stand in a bank or grocery line for longer than 30 seconds-They're huffing and blowing and yelling "cant you open another line?" as they mumble under their breath, "I have to be at work in 3 seconds"

I hate going to the doctor-thats miserable. The doctor loves to give those wonderful bits of advice that they go to school for 20 years to get..."doctor, my leg hurts" he replies "well,you better stay off of it then"
How much do I owe you?,oh fountain of knowledge- if you hadnt told me that I was going to jump up and down on it for an hour.

I also hate going to the dentist,that is another miserable errand. No matter how hard you try, the hygenist is never happy with the way you brush and floss. "see how it bleeds?" she says. Well, yeah, maybe if she wouldnt stick sharp metal things in my mouth it wouldnt bleed. And the dentist always wants to show you your teeth xrays when hes done-like I care. What am I suppose to say? "Oh,look how you got my teeth to stand together for the picture"

Kotex-now thats a miserable product.I use ones called Always as opposed to being named "some of the time's" with wings and optional air bags and moon roof. They look like Dr Sholl's inserts for your shoes and they feel like it too. I dont feel confident. Mine double as coffee filters. The garbage man must think someone in the bldg has a problem.

Contact Lenses-thats another miserable product. Who thought of that? "hey,lets put our eyeglasses IN our eyes"

What would make me less miserable? Well right now, if the weather cooled down about 20 degrees, and I was asked to have a nice dinner and conversation with another human being. As I dream on, I will continue to eat grapes and ice cream while sitting in front of my air conditioner