Thursday, August 04, 2005
Corporate Greed (part I)
The following is an excerpt from a chapter in the book, "Nothing's Sacred" written by one of my favorite comedians/political humorists, Lewis Black. This was too funny to keep to myself, but this is definitly a book that is worth the investment...you should pick up a copy or two.
"Over the past couple of years we have witnessed the highest levels of corporate greed ever conceived. And the men running these companies-- corporations such as Tyco and Enron and Global Crossing and Adelphia--were the greediest fuckers of the greedy. No need to look it up;its a fact. And the word "greedy" shouldnt even apply to them. There should be a new word. It should be "piggypiggypiggyfuckpiggypiggy"
But the federal government certainly took its time to deal with those companies. Why? Because they didnt have laws in place to take action any sooner. All I have to say is this. If you dont want another Enron, heres what the law should be: If a company cant explain in one sentence what it does, it must be illegal.
And it cant be a run-on sentence either. Not a single parenthetical phrase. Not a semicolon anywhere in sight. Two commas, tops. A simple,short,declarative sentence. Just like the ones in this paragraph.
Think about this: A father and two sons ran a company named Adelphia, and one day they reached into petty cash and pulled out a billion dollars. Again, that's three people and one billion dollars--each. What were they going to do with it--start their own space program? I would have loved to be at that family meeting. "but dad,why cant we launch our own monkeys to Jupiter? Billy and Timmy's father let them launch their monkeys to Jupiter. We hate you! You never let us do anything fun".
And how did they spend their money? Well, among other things, they took $13 million from the company and built a golf course in their own backyard. Its shocking to me that the people who worked for that company didnt rise as one and slay them. I,for one,now fully understand why the french chopped off Marie Antoinette's head."
To be continued...
"Over the past couple of years we have witnessed the highest levels of corporate greed ever conceived. And the men running these companies-- corporations such as Tyco and Enron and Global Crossing and Adelphia--were the greediest fuckers of the greedy. No need to look it up;its a fact. And the word "greedy" shouldnt even apply to them. There should be a new word. It should be "piggypiggypiggyfuckpiggypiggy"
But the federal government certainly took its time to deal with those companies. Why? Because they didnt have laws in place to take action any sooner. All I have to say is this. If you dont want another Enron, heres what the law should be: If a company cant explain in one sentence what it does, it must be illegal.
And it cant be a run-on sentence either. Not a single parenthetical phrase. Not a semicolon anywhere in sight. Two commas, tops. A simple,short,declarative sentence. Just like the ones in this paragraph.
Think about this: A father and two sons ran a company named Adelphia, and one day they reached into petty cash and pulled out a billion dollars. Again, that's three people and one billion dollars--each. What were they going to do with it--start their own space program? I would have loved to be at that family meeting. "but dad,why cant we launch our own monkeys to Jupiter? Billy and Timmy's father let them launch their monkeys to Jupiter. We hate you! You never let us do anything fun".
And how did they spend their money? Well, among other things, they took $13 million from the company and built a golf course in their own backyard. Its shocking to me that the people who worked for that company didnt rise as one and slay them. I,for one,now fully understand why the french chopped off Marie Antoinette's head."
To be continued...
Comments:
<< Home
thats good stuff.
here's a good deal. send me the book when you're done.
you will be greatly rewarded if you do this.
Post a Comment
here's a good deal. send me the book when you're done.
you will be greatly rewarded if you do this.
<< Home
