Step around the poop, if you can

What is it with people and being super sensitive about every damn thing that is said to them? Not people you met yesterday, I mean people who supposedly KNOW you-relatives,friends.
When can you let your guard down and just be able to say something off key,humorous or just plain stupid to someone you supposedly have a bond with and not be judged as a moron by these folk? That's part of the reason I isolate myself,why bother getting chummy with someone if they dont take time to know you.
If the people you call "close" dont ever seem to be curious or ask questions about you, your life or even about your day, then Leave these people alone-no matter who they are-they simply dont give a shit about you, all they care about is what you can do for them, hey, the fact that they dont allow you to be yourself is proof of that.

Example #1
One of my more anal coworkers, whom I have known for a year and I thought a friendship was developing, sits in another part of the office. The building was getting ready to paint and like a bag lady, she wheeled personal shit after personal shit after piece of personal desk shit to my cubicle to hang on to for her for safe keeping to while they painted - which I didnt mind so much and soon my cubicle started looking like the Sanford and Son house and there was no more room left.
The cubicle next to me remained empty. She wheeled one more load of crap to my desk and I said to her that there was no more room left but in the empty cubicle next to me there was plenty of room. And I said this in the nicest most decent voice I could.
The coworker got offended that I said that, and in a very terse voice she thanked me sarcastically for keeping her stuff and huffed out of the room all dramatic,slamming the door behind her. Needless to say,in my mind "friendship" is over and in fact there never was one.

Example #2
No matter what I say,or how I say it,I seem to always get on my brother's nerve so badly that he feels he has to challenge everything I say by talking over me, yelling, have tantrums, hanging up on me, accusing me of weird shit that I have no idea what hes talking about, play movies in his mind about me.
Makes me think you dont like me either. If everything I say is stupid and worthy of being screeched at for maybe I should just jump into a volcano and get it over with.

The funny thing that I have observed is: This and other bullshit doesnt go on with people they like, No there is no terse,sarcastic hateful banter nor is there any slamming about like rats on crack to people they really like and respect.

Well, since Im the only one who gets me, guess I am destined to be my own best friend