Step around the poop, if you can

So Joe, my bro, came over for a bit of din yesterday and he did the traditional thanksgiving "washing of the clothes" in my washer (I think he gave thanks for that free washer/dryer experiance-so its okay).
We also had the traditional Tofu with veges. I made sweet potatoes-okay? No marshmallows and it was one of those heat and serve type.

My friend came over too, and Joe made the traditional thanksgiving drink- rum and thai ice tea-ummmm- flatulant
We had plenty of drinkee. My "friend" asked me if I drank all his rum that he left at my house- I told him "yes, I drank the Acme Rum that you left-my bad-forgive me, but I did replace it with some Bacardi-which cant be confused as nail polish remover, is that okay?"

Joe, who is highly allergic to just about anything with or without fur (attractive quality) took a room at a nearby motel.
I brought bagels with cream cheese and coffee to him at 9am-Motherfucker was still in bed-I guess Juice Box from 1-900-Hookers kept him up all night.
After cussing me out for waking his majesty up, he sat up to eat his bagel and chat with me,and comment that the cream cheese was spicy... then started a barage of hacking and blowing of snot...As I dodged the flinging mucus, I wondered what got him started-no cat in sight, maybe his system was kicking back the sweet potatoes from last night. hmmm
Poor guy, wonder where he got that from, no one in our family has that gene, thank the Lord.
Maybe it was because my mother smoked 2 packs a day all the time while carrying little Joey the hackmeister. Or maybe he is a product of the 5th dwarf in the Snow White story, Sneezy. I think I remember mom going to the circus quite a bit in those days. I wouldnt put it past the mother to have made it with one of the little people.
He told me his back always hurts-evidently, his mattress at home is worn and tattered and hangs lower than my boobs.
Geeze Joe, you might do better sleeping in your car.

We drove around my townage for a while, so I could show him the neighborhood. Joe commented how every fucking place-be it a group of condos, a gas station or the Chabad house, looked as though someone liked a photo of a structure they saw and decided to make every damn bldg look like that one. Yeah, hes right
Im turning Stepford

Sorry, Joe, forgot your dozen bagels. Guess you'll have to venture to Western or Brueggers - that is if you arent allergic