Step around the poop, if you can

Dads 70th last night
Mom gathered neighbors,her best friend,my cuz,my bro and me with manfriend-at the Claim Jumpers for dinner at 8 oclock last night.

Good thing manfriend was there, he kept conversations with these strangers going at top speed-as moms best friend whispered to me across the table-"Oh thats nice that he likes to talk, Im stuck with Silent Night" (referring to her husband who had left the table to go potty-same guy who I had the honor to sit next to and whose pits stank, by the way)
She said she was upset because she was just diagnosed with insulin dependant diabetes, I guess she wasnt that upset, because after just consuming mass quantities of dinner, when the waiter came around again, she ordered cheesecake (a little pie to go with that deadly disease that is controlled by diet- mmmmm,sugar,pie)

She told me and manfriend that when she was younger(shes probably in the mid 60's) she and some girlfriends used to drive to San Diego,ca from Torrance,ca (not more than 80 or so miles) to "visit" military guys..thats no big deal right? except, she boasted, there were no freeways then.
Hellllllooooo. I wonder how long that road trip took

Mom who was always a tall woman had shrunk a couple inches due to the ravages of Osteoporosis-she is starting to resemble a human comma-yikes

All in all the dinner was good and there werent too many embarrassing moments, except when my dad, who thought I looked real good, asked me what I had done to my face.
"nothing dad, must be that facial that man-friend gave me tonight"