Step around the poop, if you can

Today, was it.

I'm off work for 5 whole days-yea!
I havent been on vacation in years-but after working at this job for 2 years straight and never taking more than 1 day off in that time-I have accumulated about 3 wks of vacation time.

I dont have big plans-but it sure feels nice not to have to get up and go into that building and deal with all the dysfunctional people there

My lily white ass (cellulite and all) went to the beach (this wasnt planned but what the hell, there are many close to where I live)
I squeezed myself into a bathing suit,which hasnt seen me in about 3 years (boobs were everywhere),checked mapquest for directions,put on a baseball cap,changed to a smaller purse and packed a little bag which consisted of a book (Bridget Jones Diary),bottled water,a banana,something to sit on,suntan stuff and some lipstick. I had something to eat,something to read, and makeup-important when you are going to be on a deserted beach.
Have you ever seen a beach without crowds and no lifeguard. Interesting

Oh there were a few surfers there to catch the perfect waves-Then I saw it, a very strange site at this beach at Newport....an African American young lady-not a Halle Berry version with high yellow skin tones and a small nose, but a site I havent seen since moving to this all marshmallow county...A black person not only at the beach but riding the waves.
With real expertise, too.
I almost started to cry.
Right on.

It was a beautiful and warm day in Newport-about 85 degrees-lots of waves and a black person.
I also found some damn nice seashells to decorate my apartment with then I read my book.I ate my banana and fixed my lipstick. Then I drove to the neighborhood-high falutin,ritzy mall called "Your Shit Dont Stink, Island"
There were stores in this here mall that I only have seen in those high priced magazines- I stopped to eat some breakfast(it being 10:30 am) at this little cafe on one of the floors of this outdoor Taj Mahal- I ordered coffee, a number 3 afixed by it and something called Deviled eggs on rye toast-next to that was a number 9, I asked the waiter, what do the numbers mean? "why thats the price, madam" silly me

So I ordered a cup of 3 dollar coffee and the Deviled eggs on Rye toast thinking I would get a couple of deviled eggs and a couple pieces of rye bread that was toasted.

I received my coffee in an oversized coffee cup (not a mug)and a glass of water in a cup that had to have costed at least 20 bucks at Bloomingdales
Then came my entree-the deviled eggs on rye toast:
2 pieces of dry rye Melba toast topped with eggs that were creamed and mixed with mayo, this creation was topped with smoked salmon (nowhere on the menu description of the entree did it mention that Charlie Tuna's cousin would be there too)-I guess this justified you paying 9 dollars for it.

This breakfast cost 12.93 plus tip for a waiter who kept dropping things on the floor

As I drove home, I saw a Ruby's Diner, I coulda had a V8!
My seashells look great in my apartment.