Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I was invited to this year's BD-party for my friend's son on June 3rd.
This is what happened last year:
I attended my friend's 6 year old son's(whom I love dearly) birthday party.My friend/husband live in a very exclusive neighborhood, so already, I felt out of place. That coupled with the fact that I have no kids or a husband-whoo-hoo,right at home.
Anyway let me describe that swinging event...
My friend asked me if I would pick up the son's birthday cake from the bakery-and I needed to remember-the cake was requested to be designed in the Batman theme. Make sure the cake is done in the "Batman" theme.
I picked up the cake and brought it to my friend. (and, by the way,there was probably more traffic on the street than in Moriah Carey's vagina)
She wanted to confirm if it was indeed done in the "Batman theme".
"Oh,no",I said, "I thought you wanted the penis shaped cake" (well, I thought that was funny)
About 15 soccer/little league, mom and dads along with their A.D.D. kids attended,
5 of them had kids under 6 who would scream when water splashed on them like they just caught their hand in the garbage disposal.
One mom/dad(also very rich people)brought their 2 spoiled little rugrats to the party-the youngest boy(an ugly child whom I will call tarzan),about 2 years old,had long hair down his back and on his arms.
The brother(about age 5, whom I'll call-weird) just liked to run around in front of anyone without clothes on with his doodle flopping in the wind-the mom, (a Mexican)and the Dad, (a jew)didnt seem to care.
Little Jose and Javier Pearlman were doted and hovered over by these two parents like they were freaking movie stars.
As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, all the parents there, acted like secret service police,who had come to protect political leaders and their staff.
One of the moms and a dad ran over to some kid in the pool to lift him out of the water, evidently he was drowning, so I sat by the pool in a plastic lawn chair, thinking it best to play lifeguard.
I just laughed to myself when 3 of the parents over-reacted to some kid who coughed up some pool water. They were all poised and ready to transform into wonder-woman,batgirl and spider-man and jump in the pool to save someone.
In fact my friends husband jumped in the pool with all his clothes on because he thought his son was in trouble. said the son "Im okay,why did you jump in?"
All the women there were wearing diamond engagement rings and fake boobs the size of cantaloupes
And the breath that one of the mom's at the party blew on me, pee-you! I will TRY to describe how bad it was...
It smelled like something crawled from her anus to her mouth, died, came back to life long enough to fart, then died again.
Someone needed to shove a tic tac in her designer pie-hole.
Well, I guess thats what all us single people get to do..pick up cakes before the party,play lifeguard during the party, clean up after the party,go home to our 1 room apartments with the scenic view of the alley and be glad we dont have the personalties of house plants, yet.
This is what happened last year:
I attended my friend's 6 year old son's(whom I love dearly) birthday party.My friend/husband live in a very exclusive neighborhood, so already, I felt out of place. That coupled with the fact that I have no kids or a husband-whoo-hoo,right at home.
Anyway let me describe that swinging event...
My friend asked me if I would pick up the son's birthday cake from the bakery-and I needed to remember-the cake was requested to be designed in the Batman theme. Make sure the cake is done in the "Batman" theme.
I picked up the cake and brought it to my friend. (and, by the way,there was probably more traffic on the street than in Moriah Carey's vagina)
She wanted to confirm if it was indeed done in the "Batman theme".
"Oh,no",I said, "I thought you wanted the penis shaped cake" (well, I thought that was funny)
About 15 soccer/little league, mom and dads along with their A.D.D. kids attended,
5 of them had kids under 6 who would scream when water splashed on them like they just caught their hand in the garbage disposal.
One mom/dad(also very rich people)brought their 2 spoiled little rugrats to the party-the youngest boy(an ugly child whom I will call tarzan),about 2 years old,had long hair down his back and on his arms.
The brother(about age 5, whom I'll call-weird) just liked to run around in front of anyone without clothes on with his doodle flopping in the wind-the mom, (a Mexican)and the Dad, (a jew)didnt seem to care.
Little Jose and Javier Pearlman were doted and hovered over by these two parents like they were freaking movie stars.
As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, all the parents there, acted like secret service police,who had come to protect political leaders and their staff.
One of the moms and a dad ran over to some kid in the pool to lift him out of the water, evidently he was drowning, so I sat by the pool in a plastic lawn chair, thinking it best to play lifeguard.
I just laughed to myself when 3 of the parents over-reacted to some kid who coughed up some pool water. They were all poised and ready to transform into wonder-woman,batgirl and spider-man and jump in the pool to save someone.
In fact my friends husband jumped in the pool with all his clothes on because he thought his son was in trouble. said the son "Im okay,why did you jump in?"
All the women there were wearing diamond engagement rings and fake boobs the size of cantaloupes
And the breath that one of the mom's at the party blew on me, pee-you! I will TRY to describe how bad it was...
It smelled like something crawled from her anus to her mouth, died, came back to life long enough to fart, then died again.
Someone needed to shove a tic tac in her designer pie-hole.
Well, I guess thats what all us single people get to do..pick up cakes before the party,play lifeguard during the party, clean up after the party,go home to our 1 room apartments with the scenic view of the alley and be glad we dont have the personalties of house plants, yet.
