Step around the poop, if you can

Croton

I bought one last week from a nursery in Laguna. Im not too good with plants so I told the person helping me to point me to something that doesnt need much attention or watering, cause Im baaaaad with plantlife
The girl advised me to get something called a "croton" plant cause its "impossible" to kill them you really have to be a retarded ferret to kill these. Yada Yada or whatever she said.

"Okay" I bought the Croton cause it was cheaper than her other option for me "mother in law tongue"-I promptly placed beautiful green Bertha on her new spot on the balcony outside

I was excited that I get to nurture something, especially encouraging to me was the knowledge that I could practically go to Japan for 3 weeks,forget about it and it would just spit back at me and keep growing

Well I just put on my big surprise face when I went outside last night to find Bertha all dried up and folded inside itself.
Hey, I just watered it 2 weeks ago damn it. I should be able to go 6 months
You think the fact that it was as hot as it is on Mars had anything to do with it?

I brought it inside the house and turned on the faucet-hopefully it will come back to life like a good Croton should